


Any Other Way

by vampiredroid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 14x3, Angst, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Cause I Said So, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode: s14e03 The Scar, Fluff, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Season 14 Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, cas doesn't make the deal, cas is a sappy fuck, let dean say fuck, smut will be in second chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:40:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29098956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampiredroid/pseuds/vampiredroid
Summary: Cas is a lovesick fool, and he missed Dean immensely.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Any Other Way

At first Cas hadn't known what to call it. All he knew was that when he was with Dean Winchester his chest ached in a way that was both warm yet painful. There was no single moment of clarity where he realized how far he had fallen for Dean. Rather it slowly just became a fact of the universe that Castiel was in love with Dean Winchester. Cas had loved Dean through all the highs and lows of the past decade or so, and this was a low point no matter how much Dean wanted everyone to believe that everything was fine.

A few hours ago, after weeks of searching, Dean was finally back in the bunker. He had walked into the bunker with a smile on his face and wearing clothes that were most definitely not chosen by himself, and he was fine. After knowing Dean for as long as he had, Cas knew that it was an act. He saw the tightness in the corner of Dean's eyes and the slight strain to his wide smile. When Dean retreated to his room only minutes after getting back, Cas wanted nothing more than to follow him and be able to comfort him but he knew that wasn't what Dean needed right now.

Moments later Dean returned with a frantic look in his eyes and showed Sam and Cas the new mysterious scar on his shoulder. After Cas had sifted through Dean's mind and unearthed the memory of Michael getting stabbed, Dean announced that he was going to go to his room and sleep for at least a week. His composure was mostly intact but Cas still noticed the way that his hands were shaking and the set to his shoulders as he went back to his room.

"I wish he would just let us help him" , Sam turned to Cas with worry shining through his eyes.

"As do I, Sam. Unfortunately we both know that simply is not how Dean works", Cas frowned, "He will seek us out in time."

"This whole situation is just making me so confused", Sam ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "It doesn't make sense, why would Michael just let him go?"

"We will figure it out. For now you and Dean need to rest."

"Yeah, yeah that sounds like a good idea", Sam nodded," I know you don't need as much sleep as us Cas, but I know how worried you've been about him, you should get some rest soon as well."

"I will try. Goodnight Sam."

Sam patted Cas on the shoulder on his way out, "Goodnight man."

Cas knew he wasn't going to be able to fall sleep anytime soon so he settled down on a comfy chair in the library and began to read.

Cas had expected Dean to take at least a week to reach out to anyone, so he was understandably surprised when a few hours later Dean strolled into the library with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

"Hey Cas, mind if I join you?"

"Of course not", Cas set aside his book as Dean plopped down in the chair next to him and poured two glasses. He handed one to Cas and clinked their glasses together before draining his in one go. Cas sipped at his and looked at Dean thoughtfully. Dean was wearing a plain white t shirt and red flannel pajama pants underneath his 'dead man's robe'. His hair was a bit messy and the dark circles underneath his eyes were a bit more prominent than usual.

"So, Cas, tell me something", Dean leaned forward a bit, "I go M.I.A. for a few weeks and you let my baby brother grow such a fugly ass beard? If something like this happens again I better not come back home and see that abomination again.", Dean said with a playful smirk on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Well then we better make sure something like that doesn't happen again.", Cas said with a little more gravity than Dean had been expecting.

"Right-", Dean cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, "I guess we will."

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes while sipping at their whiskeys, each lost in thought with a thousand things left unsaid. Cas ended up being the one to break the silence.

"I'm very glad to have you back Dean."

"Aww did somebody miss me?", Dean chuckled a bit nervously. 

"Yes. I missed you immensely."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck as a light pink dusting spread across his cheeks and a small smile graced his lips, and somehow Cas fell in love with him just a little bit more.

"Dean", Cas looked into his eyes with aching sincerity, "Tell me truthfully, how are you doing?"

Dean was surprised at how little apprehension he felt at the prospect of opening up to Cas.

"Not great. I uhm- I keep worrying that all this is some kind of mind trick Michael is playing on me, and that I'm gonna just snap out of it soon and still be trapped in my own head with him." 

"Yes, that is a valid concern.", Cas frowned,"Is there anything you can think of that will prove to you that this is real?"

"I don't know Cas..", Dean smiled sadly, "Is there anything you can tell me that Michael would have no way of knowing?"

"Hmm, well there is one thing I haven't told you that Michael would have no way of knowing because it is something that you had not already known."

Dean hummed inquisitively as Cas turned his seat to face Dean.

"When I raised you from Hell you assumed that I had healed all of your scars but that is not true. There were a few that I left, too small to see without looking very closely."

"Why?"

"A vast majority of your scars are from hunting and other negative experiences, however there are a few with some sentimental value attached to them. Here, roll up your left sleeve", Cas rested his finger slightly above the middle of Dean's forearm after he obeyed. "There is a small patch of skin here that is a little bit darker than the rest, you had always assumed it was a birthmark because when it happened you were too young to remember it. You were three and helping your mother in the kitchen and burned your arm on the stove. Then there is a mark on your ankle from having it hit with a scooter when you were nine. You and Sam were staying at Bobby's house and he found two old scooters in his garage and it was one of the only times where you had felt like a kid."

Dean drew in a shaky breath, "..It seems like all the bad memories are covering up the good ones. Can't even really see the ones you pointed out cause there's so many more scars covering them. And now I've got yet another", Dean tapped his fingers over the new scar on his shoulder, "I don't suppose any mojo could heal my little souvenir from my romantic getaway with Michael, huh?", Dean chucked bitterly.

"I'm afraid not Dean. It was inflicted by the Lance of Michael, that makes it a bit more permanent than most of your scars."

"Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic, ain't it?", Dean huffed and ran his hands over his eyes.

"Dean. Look at me please.", Cas paused until he had eye contact, "Over the years many people have left their mark on you, even me.", Cas rested his had on Dean's shoulder right where his handprint used to be, "They make you who you are. It is unfortunate that these things have happened to you but they show me a story of someone who is brave, kind, and heroic. It shows me how much you have been through, and that despite all of it you have come out on the other side. All of your experiences have led you to being the man you are now, and I know that I wouldn't have it any other way."

Dean realized two things as he looked into Cas' eyes that were filled with fondness and sincerity. 1. Cas loved him, there was no other word for that look, 2. That realization was a lot less terrifying than he would've thought it'd be. 

"Well that's just about the sappiest shit I've ever heard, Casanova", Dean leaned forward until his forehead was resting against Cas' forehead, "I really think you should kiss me now.", Dean whispered against Cas' lips.

Dean saw Cas' eyes widen in disbelief before settling into the happiest look he had ever seen. Their lips joined in a soft, loving kiss and a few seconds later they were both smiling too hard to keep kissing. 

Cas trailed his thumb along Dean's jaw almost reverently before lifting his chin up into a kiss that was far more heated than the previous one. Their kiss broke briefly as Dean stood up out of his chair and slid into Cas' lap and straddled him. Dean put his hands on each side of Cas' face and pulled him into a desperate kiss, their lips sliding together passionately. Cas ran his hands over Dean's thighs and rested them on top of his hipbones.

Dean pulled back and rested his lips against Cas' neck, "Just so we're on the same page Cas, I think I love you.", Dean murmured.

Cas thinks this is the happiest he's ever felt. He carded his fingers through Dean's hair and grinned.

"I love you too, Dean.", Cas kissed the top of Dean's head.

Dean trailed kisses along Cas' jaw until his lips pressed against Cas' ear.

"..So last night on Earth, what are your plans?" He whispered huskily. Cas let out a surprised chuckle as a playful smirk spread across Dean's lips. "Cas?"

"Hmm?"

Dean looked into Cas' eyes, "I think you should take me to bed.", he whispered suggestively.

The warm feeling spread through Cas' chest once again as he pulled Dean into another heated kiss and put his hands underneath the other man's thighs and stood up to carry him to his room.

**Author's Note:**

> Will post second chapter soon, pls pls pls give me feedback. I think this is the longest thing I've written, tell me if my characterizations are off?


End file.
